Um, God…

When I started what became For the Journey, I was just writing Sunday School Literature. (The name and the logo came later.) I knew that was my calling and wanted to be obedient, but at the time, all I imagined doing was Sunday School Literature and probably only for adults.

God had other plans, though, and has led me step by step over the years in adding other offerings. Some of them I was more excited about than others. For instance, it was all excitement when it came to adding 30-Day Devotionals, but it was mostly all nerves when it came to adding the podcast…

When the Lord started dealing with me about a website, I wasn’t crazy about the idea. I’m not tech-savvy, so the thought of trying to design a website had me imagining pulling all my hair out in frustration or perhaps smashing my computer with a hammer. I just knew I wasn’t smart enough. Then, if I figured it out (which seemed like a big if to me), would it be worth the time, energy, and frustration? Would any good come from it? Any growth?

So, I did something I’m really good at… I delayed…

But, thinking about a website every single day started to get old, so as I was praying one night, I just honestly said, “God, I’m not a web designer.” Probably in less than a fraction of a second, I found myself thinking, “You weren’t a podcaster either…” That was the moment I knew a website was in my future.

Research did not go well. I may not have pulled my hair out or smashed my computer, but my frustration level was pretty high. I hate not knowing what I’m doing, and I hate not knowing a project will turn out well.

I realized, however, that, if I ever wanted to think about something other than a possible website, I was going to have to stop trying to figure out every single detail ahead of time and just jump right in. After all, our obedience doesn’t require much faith or trust if we already have all the answers.

And, guess what? Jumping in went way smoother than trying to figure out all the details. Sometimes, the most rewarding tasks are the ones that have us thinking, “Um, God, I can’t be the right person for that,” or “Um, God, just thinking about that makes me want to pull my hair out,” or “Um, God, are you sure about that?” They force us to depend on the Lord to guide and help us. They humble us. They stretch our faith, our trust. Sometimes, our “Um, God…” objections become the first steps of exciting new journeys.